identification

have i wonder what is the difference between me hanging out w/ john's frens and my frens?

it's us that makes the different, sometimes i realise that we take in the identity of our better half partner... say like yesterday, i was hanging out w/ the rest, primarily i only know sham,anne, peishan...the rest are quite new to me... i do have a deep sense of wierdness sitting new to me, even when i was sipping my glass of beer.(like everyone else)
i still feel that difference.

i cant imagine how would this situation be if would say john is not around... will i still keep in touch with them? am i doing it because of him or because i choose to integrate w/ him. i must have my own identity before i can be integrated w/ his... so who are my frens? who are his frens? who are OUR frens? something i need to think thru cos we're very soon going to be married. i have to know something more than this so that it prepares me for what's ahead. i need to be secured, and i need to know WHO is now holding my hand.